Did I say the dreams had stopped?

Sorry, I was wrong. Actually they only stopped for a couple of days but I either couldn't remember them, couldn't be stuffed typing them up (most of them were really long) or they weren't particularly interesting. WELL, since I was already typing this one up on the "Dreams with AFI members in them...?" thread in the AFI guild, I thought I'd post this one up here. It's goddamn freaky.
I was sort of half awake when I had it and I keep remembering different parts of it, but I think I have it all now.
It was one of those dreams where you're looking down on yourself, and I was lying in bed, seemingly peacefully sleeping, except the fact that I was dead and nobody knew. My skin was white and my eyes were closed, and it zoomed in to just my face, and Davey bent down out of nowhere and kissed my cheek, then faded to black, and then Jade came and kissed my cheek, then faded to black, then Adam then Hunter both did the same. They were all crying silently and basically mourning over my dead body, and everytime one of their lips touched my cheek, my dream flashed to an image of me in a glass coffin holding a bunch of flowers in my dead hands, and AFI standing there crying, but they were all silent. It was like they were sobbing but they were on mute. I woke up and I could feel where they kissed me on my cheek, and I had this eerie feeling, like I had been crying but I couldn't remember why I was sad.
Oh, and I just realised, when I'm in the glass coffin I'm much older, but I'm pretty sure my face is the same (like young... but I can't remember T_T) but when I'm in the bed I'm the same age as I am now.

...People suck....

*coughs* Well here's my song of the day!

A Song For The Optimists, Atreyu (<3)

Blow the last candle out.
Let the wax harden.
I wish I could stop crying.
I wish that someone still loved me.(x2)

Just breathe and focus.
How can I when the air is so cold and empty,
that my lungs froze right in my chest?
I'll be honest
the silver linings are getting harder and harder to manufacture,
and the smiles are so difficult to fake.
I'll be honest
the silver linings are getting harder and harder to manufacture,
and the smiles are becoming so difficult for me to fake.

What do I have to do
or who do I have to kill,
to get what I want... what I need?
What do I have to do
or who do I have to kill,
to get what I want... what I need?

Happiness is an emotion
I was born to this world without.
Nothing pleases me.
I can never be satiated.
Through this toil I will breed my own distress
and destroy my best hopes;
fuck up the only things (that I love).

I watched my aspirations crash into the ground
on the backs of the angels that I've slain.
But I meant so well;
I tried so hard;
gave every bit of my soul;
to what end?
TO WHAT END!?

Desolation, desire, exhale, pass away.
Desolation, desire, exhale, pass away.
Desolation, desire, exhale, pass away.

Haey, Haey

Yeah, that's it. It's been a slow, lonely couple of weeks, without even my mind to keep me company.

Ramblings Of A Demon Mind Part 4

Juts some ramblings...

Time flies when you're having fun, right? So basically if you're happy the days seem to go by quicker, and if you're miserable they lag on. So, to keep this ultra quick, life is only short for those who enjoy it. Now I get why they say "Life's a bitch"!

And some side ramblings: I'm so queer. I insist on spelling most of my words out and putting in proper punctuation, but I can't be stuffed having a two second pause to determine whether I need your or you're. It's the same with their, there and they're too. I alway have to go back and change them. Sometimes I just don't.

A pointless note: I have really messy, one third italics, one third cursive, one third... not... handwriting.

Curretly listening to: Your Standing On My Neck, Splendora. <3

Ramblings Of A Demon Mind Part 3

You Can't Escape Stereotypes (date unknown)

I know, it's an overdone topic. Bear with me, I think this has some differences.

Where ever you go, however you look, whatever you do, whoever are, I guarantee you'll have had at least one stereotypical thing thought about you. "Oh my God, she has black nails, she's goth. Oh my God, he's had more then 2 girlfriends, he's a whore. Oh my God, she likes pink, she's a priss ((guilty!)). Oh my God, he wears makeup, he's a fag." Even things that don't seem stereotypical. "They like a "kids" show, what a baby!" I admit I'm guilty of a fair few rather... questionable thoughts on particular people and their "labels". Like I said, it's unavoidable.
I just wanna know why. Why do we say such things? Why did we get into such a terrible habit? Why did we let it get this bad?

Just a little side topic to lull over: What about people who are majorly varied and don' fit into any groups? Do they form their own group? If so, what is their group? Doesn't that just cancel itself out? "I'm putting you in this group because you don't belong in any groups."
"Your different, so I'm putting you with the other different people." But... doesn't that make me the same as them, then? XD

Stereotypical Bullshit

I really don't like this song, but I like the message, and it caused a rant, so here it is. And I like the chorus. It needs to be said at my funeral.

Nails painted black to match her soul,
This girl not only bites but scratches,
Living it up in her only little world,
Another being's blood rests upon her.

And all she wanted was to be heard, not seen,
To have her words reach minds,
Without being intersected by stereotypical thoughts.

Clothes like coal, made from her dark heart,
She glows when she thinks of death,
She'll slit her wrists and call it art,
But it's better then the insults carelessly thrown.

And all she wanted was to be heard, not seen,
To have her words reach minds,
Without being intersected by stereotypical thoughts.

Black lips pierce a matching sky,
And they say all that comes out is vile,
But in secret she plots, dreams and wonders, "Why...?"
She wipes the tears and carries on alone.

And all she wanted was to be heard, not seen,
To have her words reach minds,
Without being intersected by stereotypical thoughs.
By stereotypical bullshit.
She only wanted to be heard.
Stereotypical bullshit...

The Cold Within

This isn't actually by me, but I really love this poem, we had it for drama last year.

Six humans trapped by happenstance,
In black and bitter cold.
Each possessed a stick of wood,
Or so the story's told.

Their dying fire in need of logs,
The first woman held hers back,
For on the faces around the fire,
She noticed one was black.

The next man looking 'cross the way,
Saw one not of his church,
And could not bring himself to give
The fire his stick of birch.

The third one sat in tattered clothes,
He gave his coat a hitch,
Why should his log be put to use,
To warm the idle rich?

The rich man just sat back and thought,
Of the wealth he had in store,
And how to keep what he had earned,
From the lazy, shiftless poor.

The black man's face bespoke revenge,
As the fire passed from his sight,
For all he saw in his stick of wood,
Was a chance to spite the white.

And the last man of this forlorn group,
Did naught except for gain,
Giving only to those who gave,
Was how he played the game.

The logs held tight in death's stilled hands,
Was proof of human sin,
They didn't die from the cold without,
They died from the cold within.

By James Patrick Kinney

Bird In A Cage

(Spoken)
Am I a bad person because I hate the world?
Is it wrong to loathe the human race?
Will I rot in hell for thinking ill upon others?
Is it a sin to just want to die?
Bring it on!

'Cause I aint gonna change a thing for you,
I hate who I am but I love what I do,
It's just too bad that you just don't care,
Well screw you!

I don't give a damn what you think of me,
When will you open your eyes and see?
I couldn't care less, I just wanna be free
Fuck you!
I'll live my life as one big game,
I've got m umbrella for when you brin rain,
Whatever you say, I'll never ever change.

'Cause I aint gonna change a thing for you,
I hate who I am but I love what I do,
It's just too bad that you just don't care,
Well screw you!

I don't really care if you don't like my attitude,
You don't know me and i don't know you,
And frankly I don't want to...
Suck that!
You can't control what I do and say,
Just look at your life, don't wanna end up that way,
You say your full of love when your high on rage.

Well I aint gonna change a thing for you,
I hate who I am but I love what I do,
It's just too bad that you just don't care,
Well screw you!

You're smothering me and it's not out of love,
You're made of pure hatred and it fits like a glove,
Well I want you to know that I've had enough,
Back off
Some time I'll get up and fly away,
But my wings are broken so I'll stay another day,
I'll travel underground where the demons lay,

'Cause I aint gonna change a thing for you, (for you)
I hate who I am but I love what I do (for you)
Yeah I aint gonna change a thing for you,
For you,
For you!

Yeah yeah

Okay, so this is a little bit later then "tomorrow", but at least I remembered to update it. So tired right now. Your all lucky I'm doing this. In such a bad mood right now. Anyway, on with it.

Anime chick *nods*

*runs in screaming with underwear down* OHH MY PRECIOUS BLOG! HOW I'VE MISSED THEE!

WAAA! MY INTERNET DIED!!! Did ja miss me? Awh fuck teas ready O.o Will post later. Or tomorrow. I'm tired.

Lyrics of Maru's very own... dun dun dunnn!

I tolded you to get ready for a longing to be free. Here's to We Serve Soap!
Maru Youkai is happy because she haseth music, coffee and mint kit kats. *^_^'s*
*hits computer* LOAD GODAMMIT! I WANT TO READ MY EMAIL! Stupid hunk-a-junk.

Okieness. This be'eth (Bee eth. It's not that hard!) Paper Wings. I really like the chorus and the end bit. The three words pattern is hard to follow, so I did a okie job.

Sitting, waiting, watching,
Looking up into the sky,
Hoping, wishing, wanting,
To spread my wings and fly.

But my wings are only paper,
They hold no strength at all,
And they turn straight to dust,
As the rain begins to fall.

Hoping, trying, rising,
I lift up through the air,
Stumbling, falling, crashing,
The rain is always there

And my wings are only paper,
They hold no strength at all,
They turn straight to dust,
As the rain begins to fall.

Dreaming, living, waiting,
Longing to be free,
Imagine, creating, dancing,
A bird is what I want to be

But my wings are only paper,
They hold no strength at all,
They turn straight to dust,
As the rain begins to fall.

Believing, praying, trying
over and over again,
Seeing, feeling, knowing,
That this is not the end.

My wings are only paper,
They hold no strength at all,
They turn straight to dust,
As the rain begins to fall.

My wings are only paper,
But my heart is pure gold,
And someday I will be free,
Someday my wings will hold.

Currently listening to: World War Me. Good song. Reminds me of Donnie Darko. Awh it finished >=| Has that email loaded yet?!

More lyrics! NEED MOREE LYRICS *claws eyes*

Maru Youkai has gone lyric crazey! Although only two for now. Possibly more later.

SONGNESS OF THE DAYETH!

Mad World by Gary Jules

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going no where
Going no where
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow
No tomorrow
And I find I kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one new me
Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me
And I find I kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Enlarging your world
Mad world

Yay emailness! I gotted an email! *gets excited* Tis from Lizeth!! ^__^

Second song! I loveth this song. Tis Counting Bodies Like Sheep To The Rhythm Of The War Drums by A Perfect Circle. Now try saying that ten times fast. *Has actually tried that afore*

Don't fret precious I'm here, step away from the window
Go back to sleep
Safe from pain and truth and choice and other poison devils,
See, they don't give a fuck about you, like I do.

Count the bodies like sheep
Count the bodies like sheep

Counting bodies like sheep
To the rhythm of the war drums

Count the bodies like sheep

Go back to sleep
Go back to sleep

Counting bodies like sheep
To the rhythm of the war drums

Go back to sleep
Go back to sleep

Counting bodies like sheep
To the rhythm of the war drums

Go back to sleep
Go back to sleep

Counting bodies like sheep

Go back to sleep
Go to sleep [x14]
Go back to sleep
Go back to sleep
Go back to sleep

Counting bodies like sheep

Go back to sleep
Go back to sleep

Counting bodies like sheep

Go back to sleep
Go back to sleep

Counting bodies like sheep
To the rhythm of the war drums

Go back to sleep
Go back to sleep

Counting bodies like sheep
To the rhythm of the war drums

Go back to sleep
Go back to sleep

Counting bodies like sheep
To the rhythm of the war drums [x2]

I’ll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
They're one in the same, I must isolate you…
Isolate and save you from yourself …

It seems a bit repetative but it's really really goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood once you hear it. I loveth it. I saideth that alreadyness.

*Shifty eyes* I'm not listening to this song... *whistles and walks away*
Haha, now they all wanna know what song it was! I SHALL NEVER TELL *runs*

Georgia is a fucking genious

Look! Look what she did! I hate her, she's too talented! >=| And I fucking love that *huggles it* My banner! MINE!

More of Maru Youkai's random lyrics!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think I've ever posted These Walls on here! Silly me! But now, as my longing to be "free" returns with a BANG, I think this song would be perfect to post as random lyrics. May it get you hyped for my latest song, which I am currently writing.

"These Walls"

Something missing
Left behind
Search in circles
Every time I try
I've been here before
I've seen you before
I can't escape winding down these halls
Hard to find a place where there are no walls
And no lines begging me to cross
Only straight ahead better move along
Like Clockwork
I commit the crime
I pretend to be
everything they like
I've been here before
I've seen you before
And I trade everything for this
And I trade everything for this
Why do I read the writing on the wall
Why do I read the writing on the wall
I won't lose my place in line
I've been here too long and I've spent too much time
I won't lose my place in line
I've been here too long and I've spent too much time

Oh what the hell? Here's Stand Up too.

"Stand Up"

Why don't you let me be
Leave me alone
You start a fire inside that I could never control
You wanna see a reaction?

Come on and cut me down
You've gone as far as I'll go
Now you're crossing the line
And I am letting you know
Well here's your reaction

Stand up
I have had enough
Walk away before I finish what you started
Face to face I will put you in your place
End this game before I finish what you started
Face to face everything will change

You planted the seed
How my anger has grown
Got an feeling inside that I can't seem to control
You wanna see a reaction?

Come on and cut me down
You've gone as far as I'll go
Now you're crossing the line and I am letting you know
Well here's your reaction

Stand up
I have had enough
Walk away before I finish what you started
Face to face I will put you in your place
End this game before I finish what you started
Face to face everything will change

Insult
After insult [9x]

Stand up
I have had enough
Walk away before I finish what you started
Face to face I will put you in your place
End this game before I finish what you started
Face to face everything will change

Walk away
Everthing will change
End this game
You wanna see a reaction?
You wanna see a reaction?
Stand up

That song reminds me of Georgina. *Evil smile...* Hmmk those were both by Trapt. *Nods and disappears into black dust* And yes, I meant dust, not smoke.

I want to pee in the sink.

Only trouble is I don't need to pee any more. I went in my pants just a bit ago. Sad, isn't it?

NOW
Want to know what to get me for christmas/birthday/halloween/easter/valentines day/any gift giving holiday/ random pressie 'cause you feel nice? I SHALL SHOW YOU!



















No, I'm not asking for pictures, I have them right there. I'm asking for DOLLS. Those are drawings of DOLLS. AND I WANT THEM!! Those are the only ones out so far... BUT...

March 2006 - Lil Flower Girl and Lil Ragdoll [There the ones in the pictures]
July-ish 2006 - Lil Alise and Lil Goth (Alise comes with a Cheshire Cat plush)
November-ish 2006 - Lil Gothica and Lil Lilith (Gothica comes with a mini StiTcheS plush)
FOR MORE INFORMATION: http://www.preciousmiseries.com/manor.html
If you buy me one I'll love you forever.

LYRICS! TIME FOR LYRICS! This is the song I was just drooling over (*Chuckles at "Davey raped your mother"*):
"Jack The Ripper"

[Originally by Morrissey]

Oh, you look so tired
Mouth slack and wide
Ill-housed and ill-advised
Your face is as clean
As your life has been, so

Crash into my arms
I want you
You don't agree
But you don't refuse
I know you

And I know a place
Where no one is likely to pass
You don't care if it's late
And, you don't care if you're lost

And oh, you look so tired
But tonight you presume too much
Too much, too much
And if it's the last thing I ever do
I’m gonna get you

Crash into my arms
I want you
You don't agree
But you don't refuse
I know you
[2x]

Perhaps I should clear up the whole "Davey raped my mother"? Well it's a songggg and it's a cover song so NYAH no insults about my Davey thankyou VERY much. And it's a damn smexy one too. Here 'tis:
"Last Caress"

[Misfits cover]

Well I got something to say,
I killed your baby today,
And it, doesn't matter much to me,
as long as it's dead.

Well I got something to say,
I raped your Mother today,
And it, doesn't matter much to me,
as long as she's spread.

Sweet lovely death, i've been waiting for your breath,
oh sweet death, one last caress.

Go!

Sweet lovely death, i've been waiting for your breath,
oh sweet death, one last caress.

Well I got something to say,
I killed your baby today,
And it, doesn't matter much to me,
as long as it's dead.

Sweet lovely death, i've been waiting for your breath,
oh sweet death, one last caress.

One last caress sweet death, one last caress sweet death,
Ohh, ohh, whoah, ohh.

Go!


Hmm... *listens to both those songs again*

Morbid Survey!

I really like how I've planned my funeral. Twas fun. You bitches better make that happen! Or... or I'll just "forget" you in my will. No, no, I'll say "And {insert name here} can have the guilt of not letting me have one final pleasure and sending me off into an unhappy afterlife." And I'll haunt you. Dare you risk it?

MORBID SURVEY


{1} do you ever see garbage bags on the side of the highway and wonder if there are body parts inside?
You know I've never seen garbage bags on the side of a highway. If there is a body, it's prolly Georgina's... and if it is, I killed her.

{2} if you ever got the chance to practice cannibalism, would you?
Oh hell yes. People for food! People for food!

{3} if forced to overdose on a drug, which one would you choose?
... suicide pill...


{WOULD YOU RATHER BE...}


{4} shot or stabbed?
stabbed; It's close range, so I could beat the mother fucker back, and if it kills me, at least I wasn't killed by a bloody pussy that couldn't come within ten feet of me and kill me properly *coughgeorginacough*

{5} asphixiated or exanguinated?
Exsanguinated. It's spelt EXSANGUINATED. And ASPHYXIATED. And I'd rather exsanguinate. *doubts thats even a word* =P

{6} drowned or buried alive?
buried alive... i hate drowning

{7} killed by blunt-force trauma to the head or crushed to death?
crushed...i don't like things touching my head

{8} poisoned or overdosed?
poisoned is funner and more... i dont know... romantic (in a non "i love you" way)

{9} killed by a flesh-melting virus or by rats or ants slowly pecking at you?
flesh-melting virus...that sounds cool and yummy

{10} out of all the above choices, which one do you like best?
9

{11}...which is the worst way to die in your opinion?
to die knowing that you could have stopped it.. or drowning/being smothered. Or by a pussy bitchface *coughgeorginaagaincough*

{12} killed (by a person) intentionally, or by accident?
intentionally, so I could at least pound them into a bloody pulp before I go. And if it's accidental then I have to haunt an innocent person, but it's funner to haunt a guilty person, its heavier on their conciense. Crap i dont know how to spell that >.<

{13} killed by a serial killer (for pleasure) or a hitman (for profit)?
serial killer definately. Then i could kill myself >=D

{14} killed in a car crash or a plane crash?
ummies... car... no no airplane so a lot more people die with me

{15} killed in your home or away from home?
away. Definately away. If i die in my home i will be VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY depressed in the other life. And ill haunt and kill all the people in my house and who live in this house. And then go on to the next door neighbours when theres no one left in the house/while im waiting for new victoms.

{16} killed in your sleep or while watching TV?
TV so i have a chance to defend myself. Killing someone in their sleep is pussy.

{17} killed by someone who knew you, a stalker, or a complete stranger?
someone i knew so that my death could haunt them for the rest of their life.


{RANDOM...}


{18} what do you want done with your body when you die?
Laid to rest in a glass coffin. And placed in the home of those responsible for my death. YOU TOOK MY LIFE, SO ILL TAKE YOURS, BITCH!

{19} you're forced to have your funeral at a place OTHER than a church - where would you choose?
You know, I've always fancied being burnt and put in an urn and thrown out to sea. Fuck glass coffin, I want to be burnt and thrown to sea when I die. Funeral at the beach, motherfuckers!

{20} what song/s would you want played at your funeral?
Bleeding, performed by A.F.I. Especially if Georgina rocks up. Davey has to look right at her when he says, "And when you find me lying dead on the bathroom floor, you can tell all your friends that it's all your fault." Okay, altering what I want to have done to my body when I die AGAIN. Placed in a glass coffin and have a funeral at... some place. Somewhere outside. A nice meadow or something. Speeches are made, A.F.I play, then they burn my body. All head over to the beach now and throw me into the sea. YOU GETTING THIS?!

{21} what outfit would you like to be buried in?
Something like what Goth wears. Oh! And I want all my Precious Miseries that I've collected placed around my coffin when the funerals going on. Perhaps I'll leave half of them to Liz and half to Bec? Yes, I think that would be nice.

{22} who do you want to give your eulogy?
Hmm... now that's tough. *first thought: Davey* don't think that'd be so great though. Unless I came to know Davey personally. *second thought: No one I'm related to* *Third thought: Becca* *Fourth thought: Julia* Jeebus, that is a noodle scratcher. Hey Bec would you like to read my eulogy with Julia?

{23} any other specifics about your funeral you'd like to share?
My cat is going to Becca. Who will have my laptop? Perhaps itll be sold on ebay "50% off because it belonged to a dead girl!" But then who would get the money? Of course, I wouldve decorated all goth and shit by now. Perhaps Liz gets it cuz Bec got my cat? I doubt I'll have a lot of money. I would prolly have a lot of cool stuff from my travels though. And, I can't really decide now because I'm sure I'll make at least ONE new friends along the way. And stuff would go to Matty and Manda too. Oh, if I can't get A.F.I to play I will have a big big tantrum and make life hell for anyone I meet... and will prolly ask some of my friends that have formed their own band to play. I'm afraid you'll have to make up your own music for Bleeding though, I only write lyrics. Unless Bec can write music, afterall its her song too.

{24} would you rather be forgotten about when you die, or remembered but hated?
forgotten. It's more likely and I'd rather be forgotten then liked anyway.

{25] would you rather die alone, or die loved but leave a heartbroken mate behind?
Alone. More likely. Nay, it's destiny. I'm destined to be alone.

Liz's Drawings!

Punk Fairy! Punk Kitty!! <3 Dead guy! Punk Bob The Burnt Toast!! <3 Purple Bunneh!

8 Good Reason Why Excersize Is Better Then Cutting

Before I start, I'd like to note I do not know how to spell excersize because I am a fuckwit. Even though I have to write it basically every day in maths. So just ignore that.

1. Let's face it, you more or less cut because you want to feel pain, right? Well, excersize causes a GREAT deal of pain, but it's not just in one arm or leg, it's all over your body. Yum!

2. From my experience, most people are bullied and harrased because they are slightly overweight. This make them depressed, so they cut. Well, cutting won't make you loose weight now, will it?

3. It also gives you muscle to beat the hit out of those molefaced fucktardians. Whereas cutting makes you weaker.

4. Excersize increases stamina. Sick of bing called lazy? Get active! Excersize makes you less tired (this has been scientifically proven but I forgot how so I can't explain it)

5. Excersize increases endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. All cutting does is make you bleed and, hey, happy people have no reason to cut.

6. If you go to a local club (ie. soccer club, netball club) then you meet people and make friends. These friends won't call you a fat, lazy arse because, hey, your excersizing! Nor will they call you a bitch because you won't be a bitch, you'll be all dosed up on endorphins. Jot down a few numbers and hello social life! Now the skanks back at school can't call you a loner, which means less reason to cut.

7. Parents. Cutting will only make them stress and freak out and think you need professional help. Excersize will make them think everythings fine (and it will be) and get them off your back.
Note: Do NOT beat your parents with your new found muscles.

8. Excersize relieves stress. Cutting adds to it.

Hey, don't wanna excersize? Fine by me, stay depressed!

May this have helped a few troubled teens ^_^

A dream! A dream!

Yesss, your wonderful Maru Youkai had yet another weirdarific dream! ... *sobs from the dead cat dream* Actually I had this one a few days ago but never got around to posting it. Let's see how my memory fares up this time, eh?

Well... I was in this desert... and I was the leader of an army. But it was a small army, and we weren't dressed up like army people, just like people who live in the desert, with cloths and rags and shit. Actually, now that I think of it, I wasn't the leader of an army, I was just the ruler of that clan. O.o...
And then we were being attacked, but it didn't show the fight, just me (except now I wasn't the leader) and Julia, and I was dressed up like the rest of the people who I was leading before, but I wasn't one of them, and Julia wasn't dressed up at all, she was just wearing normal clothes, and I whispered, "How are you expecting to sneak around looking like that?!" and then I was creeping into a tent and Julia was just... gone. And I came out of the tent when the fight was ending with an armful of these yellow globes, and when you throw them they explode. And then the fight was over and I was the leader again, and another army of about 10, 000 was advancing when we only had about 300 and I'm like, "We just finished a war, we're not starting another one!" And we were retreating, but then suddenly we were surrounded and we were chucking the yellow globes everywhere, and both sides were loosing men like crazy, except for some reason we always had enough. And then there was only like 700 left of the army that attacked us, and we still had 300, but we had more men then they did O.O
And then they left. And then me and my people were in my old house, sneaking out 'round the back where there were these people... smoking (drugs again! Somethings going on here...) and we were trying to sneak past them, and there was this dog, his name was Rufus and he was blind. And when I saw him I thought "Rufus again!" except I didn't know him, and somehow I know that he was in the desert scene even though I never saw him in my dream, and I felt like I'd dreamt about him alot but I can't recall ever have. And my people had gone and it was just me, and I was just about to get out through the back gate but the dog was standing there, as if he was watching me but he was blind... and he was just standing there. And I stood and stared at him, just stared at him for a while, and then the high guys weren't high any more and they were coming for Rufus, and Rufus was still standing there supposedly watching me and I heard the guys coming but I still stood and stared at the dog, and then they caught me there and they were sort of yelling but they weren't, and then the dream ended.
I swear, my subconcious scares me... so very very much.

Invisibe Ink! Muahahaha

I think I've mentioned here or there about writing on my walls? And said I'd clear it up some day if you're lucky? Yes? No? Maybe? Who cares, I'm telling you about my walls!
Although I think I just ruined it by titling this "Invisible Ink" but nevertheless, I shall talk you through my writings!
Well... you know how in Kellogs Cocopops packs you get an "X-ray vision pen" in honor of the new Superman movie? You know, Superman Returns? Jeebus do you live under a rock or something?!
Well I got one, and there those pens where you write but you can't see what comes up because it's INVISIBLE INK! And then when you shine the light located on the butt of the pen onto the writing, you can see it 'cause its an ultra special UV light or something. Yeah well I write on my walls with it. Heh... yeah that's the big secrets. No, but it's fun! And awesome! It's like my own little thingy that only I can see ^_^. Except I tell all my friends so they can sign it XP. No but it's special. And now, here is everything I've written on it! Muahahaha! Oh, and I think I've told you I have a five walled room? Well, my room has five walls *nods*.

Wall 1:
I love Jade Puget!
Walked away, heard them say, "Poison hearts will never change, walk away again."
Becca, Matty, Liz and Manda... Saviours from another state.
I've finally breached the line of insanity.

Wall 2:
Je suis un pamplemousse, me donner tout vous CROISSANTS!
And I will feel warmth
Crack my skull and make it bleed, watch the masses as you feed, feed on the memories of me, watch and tell me what you see.
And when I bleed until I die, remember me but do not cry, for I'm far better off dead then alive.
Julia
Avenged Sevenfold
Hey Clair, fuk drugs... Nick Carter
Bag a Band!
Nick Carter SUCKS BALLS!
James Blunt must DIE!
The Killers need singin and songwriting lessons! You don't deserve to be called a band!
Paris your a slut, go sleep with James Blunt!
Oi Ms Hilton, singing aint for you. Go back to lap dancing 80 yr old hornbags!
The Veronica sisters fuck each other.
HI CLAIRE!
Hi Georgia
Hold me and tell me we'll burn like stars.
I shot the angel and made her cry, I broke the angels wings so she will forever be mine.
Will you still hold me when you see what I have done? Will you still kiss me the same when you taste my victoms blood?
Atreyu
A fire inside
I love Davey
I hate humanity
Havok!
Turned away, in disgrace, felt the chill upon my face, cooling from within.
I pledge my soul to Lord God Davey

Wall 3:
*+*Dance and Explode*+*
Like an angel, with two broken wings, reach for the sky again. Like a devil, meant for better things, I will find my place on high
*+*Kiss and Control*+*
And when you find me lying dead on the bathroom floor, you can tell all your "friends" that it's all your fault, may they leave you lying broken like I once was.
Satan Worshipper
I love Adam Carson!

Wall 4:
Gerard you destroyed your hair!
Mcr rocks!
GW+GT
I love Hunter Burgen!
I'll set the world on fire
God will kill us all!
The futures bright without me
And, in the burning light
I shall situate my pain unto your blackened grave

Wall 5:
Poco intelligente zorro lunar
Dr Suess on a purple moose!
I'll write my first love song

PLUS
That cool A.F.I symbol I came up with, a dozen hearts and a dozen more symbols of the anti christ.

Wall 5 doesn't have a lot because it's full of posters, wall 1, 3 and 4 are only small walls. My bedroom is puny.
"Hey Clair, fuk drugs... Nick Carter" Yes, I know this looks like Nick Carter signed my wall (especially seeing as my name's spelt wrong >=|), but he didn't. Jordie did. She was gonna right "Nick Carter your a fucking idiot" or something along the lines (even though she's completely in love with him) because he does drugs, but she ran out of room, so she just put Nick Carter and a love heart. Just thought I'd clear that up
Oh, and about the Bag a Band section... heh, well as you can see when I hate a band, I really hate them. *innocent face*

James Blunt Is Special!

I'm a bitch, your a cunt,
Let's get together and kill James Blunt!
With a sharpish knife, Blunt is on the floor.
No more ugly singing whore!

Muahaha. Yeah, I made that up *nods* It's to the tune of "I hate you, you hate me, let's get together and kill Barney with a great big bang, Barney's on the floor, no more purple dinosaur" which I think is to the tune of Barney O.o Wow I remember him... Oh and Georgia made this:
Oh my God,
It's the month,
It's the month we killed James Blunt!
Yeah.... we really don't like that guy... *remembers that thing... feels kinda guilty... yells at self... sings it again*
A blunt knife for Blunt! Well his surname sure does match his voice... lmfao this guy is just too easy to pay out! It's falarious. *Moment of guiltyness gone* Do you know what's funny? Nova (yeah... I switched to Nova cuz Triple J had this live band on, and they were kinda dodgy, and it was a concert so I didn't know how long it'd go for, and haven't gotten around to switching back. Yeah, I'm a lazy fuck. Deal with it.) was talking about annoying things, and somewhere in the UK they had a Top 100 (I think it was 100...) Most Annoying Things, and guess what number 4 was? James Blunt!! I was pissing myself!! So Nova held a poll, "What's more annoying then James Blunt?" and there weren't much entries. Twas so fucking funny. I need new pants now.

Are you wearing pants?

Currently listening to: Highschool Football Hero, A.F.I.
Was previously listening to: Kung Fu Devil, A.F.I
Next song: Porphyria Cutanea Tarda... you guessed it, A.F.I. And I'm not even in my A.F.I playlist! The next two songs after Porphyria Cutanea Tarda are both A.F.I, but then it's Cherry Blossom Epitaph by Behind Crimson Eyes.
Just because the world is SO interested in my musical habits.
Goodnight.

I wroted a few songs

I'veeee been a good girl! I've still been writing songs. Not as much... but yeah I haven't gotten around to putting them on. So instead of making a whole lot of seperate posts I'll just stick them all on here.

Mirage

The shadows of my mind
Throw shadows across my eyes,
Forever haunted by
The voices deep inside.

I think I'm finally beat,
Can't stand this infernal heat,
So used to my island in the snow,
The fire shows me only deciet.

A perfect circle, going 'round again,
Insanity sends me dancing in the rain,
At least this way I can be free,
I don't have to feel no more pain.

The shadows of my mind
Throw shadows across my eyes,
Forever haunted by
The voices deep inside.

I retire from my misery,
Even if it means not being me,
I'll sit and stare into oblivion,
And just pretend that I'm happy.

But will anyone notice? Will anyone care?
It seems you never realise that I'm even there,
And my only hopes are miles away,
You demand a ride but refuse the fare.

The shadows of my mind
Throw shadows across my eyes,
Forever haunted by
The voices deep inside.


From Sandstorm To Blizzard

I hear voices,
They are screaming,
So far away,
But I'm pleading,
For them to fade.

I see punches,
Aimed at loved ones,
I cannot stay here,
I'll slowly come undone,
Break into tears.

And I'm running out into the world,
Into the middle of nowhere,
Take me far... far from here.
And I'm running out into the world,
Into the middle of nowhere,
Take me far... far from here.

Now the silence,
Fills my mind,
Going insane,
I begin to cry,
Sick of this game.

I just want to run,
But there's nowhere to go,
I've got no wings,
To fly from home,
So I'll sit here and sing...

And I'm running out into the world,
Into the middle of nowhere,
Take me far... far from here.
And I'm running out into the world,
Into the middle of nowhere,
Take me far... far from here.

Cut off from the world,
Bleeding, and I'm all alone,
Sitting in the dark,
You turned my blood cold,
And peirced my heart.


Georgina

Is it any warmer when your blood runs cold?
Does the poison in your lips sweeten the drink?
I don't get why you tend to hug me,
While stabbing me in the back.

You keep me guessing,
Drive me insane.
With two billion fake strands of hair,
Your a walking contradiction.

Is the grass any softer with spikes to break your fall?
Please don't talk to me, I can't stand you,
Please just dance your slutty arse right off a cliff,
So long as you drown when you hit the sea.

You keep me guessing,
Drive me insane.
With two thousand fake eyelashes,
Your a walking contradiction.

Tell me please, do you enjoy the company,
of seven hundred barbie dolls?
Do they charge much to be your friend?
All plastic melts at some point.

You keep me guessing,
Drive me insane.
With two hundred fake friends,
Your a walking contradiction.

Yep, only three. But I do have these...
"I shall situate my pain unto your blackened grave."
and
"My black heart may bleed, but at least it's whole."

There. Three songs and two quotes. I feel like I'm forgetting something though... oh well, if I remember, I'll post it! =D It only just occured to me now how much alike Mirage and From Sandstorm To Blizzard are. And I totally didn't mean to do that, they came one after the other but there was like, at least a week in between them. That's weird...

*Sits with blanket over head*

*Rocks back and forth* Need... something...
Let's ignore me today. *mutters...*
Yes, let's. Uhm okay let's see random lyrics...
Smile! Fits the moment perfectly. And it just came on. And it's an awesome song. And I don't recall posting the lyrics afore. Smile it is.

Teh title is Smile (As you've no doubt guessed.)
Teh band... c'mon you can do it... it's A.F.I you dipshits!

Smile:

Overwhelmed with a deep repulsion for sights seen so commonly,
now I have come to be the walking enmity.
Assimilate into a culture of post morality, from what I've seen, I hate humanity.
Rot with repulsion. I'll write the world a brand new song.
Look upon your bleak creation,
but is it truly me that's to be the human blasphemy?
I'll set the world on fire and,
in burning light I'll write my first love song and I will feel warmth.
Hide your eyes in heaven, in the lies.
Believe. Relieve. I'll end the world tonight.
Overwhelmed with a deep repulsion for sights seen so commonly,
now I have come
to be a walking enmity, for humanity,
the human blasphemy,
I'll end the world tonight.


Such an awesome song. *huggles it* Even though it finished by the time I posted the lyrics O.o Tis a very short song. 1 minute and 31 seconds to be exact. Shortest song I have: Key Lime Pie (36 seconds) Longest: ...But Home Is Nowhere (demo version) 15:06 *nods and walks out*